Jumping Cholla Horror

We hadn't been up to the lake in sometime... so we decided to go Saturday.  One of the first friends we made here runs the marina.  We were chatting in the store and he introduced us to some other friends who had a very interesting story:

I don't know if you've heard of these cactus or not...

Cholla.  ...or 'jumping cholla' as we call them.

Just looking at them hurts, right?

Well, imagine a couple teen kids... driving down a dark road at night.

A javelina darts out in front of them... they hit it and it goes up on the hood, into the windshield,

...But not before they swerve and lose control

coming inches from a power line and electrical box.

They crash into a 'forest' of these cacti.

(remember the windshield is gone)

They can grow tall... like trees....

Just like it would be in a good horror movie...

they were covered with chunks of cholla.

Head to toe.

Swollen, bleeding, hurting like heck cholla needles stuck everywhere...

I wish I had the pictures to show you.

I never would have believed it if I didn't see the pictures for myself.

I've never seen anything like it.
It looked like they rolled in them... because they pretty much did.

In their hair, eyes, neck... eee gads. you name it.

One spiny monster damaged an eye pretty severely. 
He has to be careful from sudden movement so he doesn't tear his retna further....

The poor dudes had them 'e v e r y w h e r e'. 

(can you imagine these little barbs on one of your, uh... parts???)

They went to the ER to get 'plucked'.

The docs say it will take months for all the needles to fester and work themselves out.

It wasn't an alcohol related incident... but it probably became one.